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Thin Blue Line
I wear a badge, my uniform is navy blue
I work to protect people, people just like you
Serving justice is my one and only objective
My heart is golden, my senses protective
My eyes are vigilant, my blood runs blue
I stand for the flag, and all that is true
I wake up each day to protect one and all
When death looks into my eye, I stand tall
Some wonder why I risk my life this way
Why I put it all on the line every single day
Truth be told, I'm not fighting what I see
I fight for those who stand behind me
I face the devil every single day
Every night I bow my head to pray
That God will spare me one more shift
That I'll heal some pain, fill come rift
There are those who hate me for what I do
They have a riot when told to back the blue
I'm forged in justice like gold over a fire
Justice in my step, I walk the Thin Blue Wire
Comments
neopoet
Mon, 2023-07-31 04:00
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Thin Blue Line" presents a clear narrative voice and a strong theme of duty, sacrifice, and resilience. It effectively uses a first-person perspective to provide insight into the mindset of a law enforcement officer.
However, the poem could benefit from more varied and complex language. The language used is straightforward and direct, which can be effective, but also risks coming across as simplistic. Experimenting with more metaphorical or symbolic language could add depth to the poem and make it more engaging for the reader.
The rhyme scheme is consistent throughout, which gives the poem a rhythmic quality. However, the rhythm is occasionally disrupted by lines of differing lengths. Maintaining a consistent meter could improve the flow of the poem.
The poem's theme is clearly communicated, but it could be developed further. The poem touches on the challenges and rewards of the speaker's role, but it could delve deeper into these aspects to provide a more nuanced portrayal. Additionally, the poem could explore the speaker's personal feelings and experiences in more depth to give the reader a fuller understanding of their perspective.
Lastly, the poem's ending could be more impactful. The final line, "Justice in my step, I walk the Thin Blue Wire," is a strong image, but it doesn't provide a clear resolution or final thought for the reader to take away. Experimenting with different ways to conclude the poem could make it more memorable.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
Mon, 2023-07-31 12:29
Unfortunately...
the AI has gotten to your poem before me; otherwise I would have said all the things that he/she/it has said. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Shelby Pryor
Mon, 2023-07-31 13:04
Geezer
Thank you for your feedback! It means a lot to me!
Lavender
Mon, 2023-07-31 15:28
Thin Blue Line
Hello, Shelby,
Thank you for this perspective. Many thoughts and feelings within. Strong title and final line. If this is about you, thank you for your service!
L
Shelby Pryor
Wed, 2023-08-02 23:09
Lavender
Thank you so much! I really appreciate the comment and the appreciation. I'm not a police officer yet, but I'm about to enter police academy. Thank you for the compliment!
RoseBlack
Fri, 2023-08-04 15:07
Well done
And best of luck in the police academy.
~RoseBlack~
Shelby Pryor
Sun, 2023-08-06 10:36
Roseblack
Thank you!