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Spring Fling -Spring in View

Submitted by Hon on Mon, 2024-04-29 22:06

Spring in view
In beauty she brings
flourish in display
invigorate life with
a sense of relish delight
by the radiant sun
greeting gracious smile
imbued by the sweet
of honey scent
descend from the air
splendor fills the mind
mesmerize at sight
by the vivid picture
paint imagine scenery
beauty unfolds with
the exquisite stand of
the resplendent flowers
waving, forming in a parade
of line, birds are chasing, bees
are humming in a mellifluous sway
capturing with fond memories
leaving with an everlasting
rejoice impression

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
Spring Fling
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Tue, 2024-04-30 04:10

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Geezer

Tue, 2024-04-30 09:29

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bringing words to the poem that should inspire and make one feel something.

However, I see that you are just paraphrasing the same words and lines.
Example: flourish in display, [flourish and display], mean nearly the same thing.

When you do this, you are creating a question in the mind of the reader. What does the author really mean?
It's kind of like saying that the color of these blooms are [red and scarlet]. Now, if you had said;
Spring presents the display with a flourish.

I think that you need to be sure of the words that you use. Read them back to yourself, do they make sense?

~ Geezer.
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