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Imagine

I wish I was imagining
But loving someone your whole life
Is nothing but an unending sorrow
A shattered illusion of happiness
A reminder of what could've been
But never was
A headache that never fades
A fractured mirror reflecting shards of a fractured heart
A fading memory slipping away
like sand through an open hand
A rain-soaked street reflecting tears shed in the darkness
A forgotten chapter lost in the pages of a story left untold
A fading heartbeat echoing in the silence of a lonely room
A distant memory, fading like footprints in the sand
A flickering flame struggling to survive amidst the darkness
A fleeting shadow disappearing with the setting sun
A silent tear shed in solitude unnoticed and unheeded
A mourning for a love that was never truly alive

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Imagine" effectively employs a series of metaphors to convey the profound sense of loss and sorrow associated with unrequited love. The imagery is vivid and poignant, providing a strong emotional resonance. However, the poem could benefit from a more varied and dynamic structure.

The repetition of the structure "A ...", while initially effective in creating a rhythm, becomes somewhat monotonous as the poem progresses. This could be mitigated by introducing some variation in the sentence structure or by interspersing the metaphors with other elements, such as dialogue or direct expressions of emotion.

Additionally, the poem could be enhanced by exploring the theme of unrequited love in a more nuanced way. While the sense of loss and sorrow is powerfully conveyed, the poem could delve deeper into the complexities of this emotion. For example, it could explore the reasons for the unrequited love, the speaker's reactions to it, or the ways in which it has shaped their life.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from a more distinctive and unique voice. While the language used is evocative and emotive, it is somewhat generic and could be made more personal and specific. This could be achieved by incorporating details that are unique to the speaker's experience, or by using more original and unexpected metaphors.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

This is something that has seriously connected with me, i understand this on a level i wish i didnt have to, i wish you didnt have to feel these things either. Its something rather constricting to love unrequitedly, especially if they are off and on and cant seem to make up their mind, leaving your life and then returning. You clearly have a long, winding and twisting history with this type of feeling and its honestly horrible, the poem you have written to express it is far from that, a complete opposite, its gorgeous. To read this poem for the first time is like seeing some beautiful piece of art and then learning about its tragic, sorrowful backstory afterwards. I could picture every line so vividly, your imagery is *chefs kiss*, this is 100% one of my most favourite things ive read on this website, in my half a year here, and i wish i could read it again for the first time. This piece draws out emotion that i spend my own time writing about and im very sure it will yank it right out of your other readers. I applaud you, you should be very proud of yourself.

The normal fear the poets and the poets fear the normal.
Thank you for your time!
-Zuella

Thank you so much!This means a lot to me!

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