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Granny Overthere.

Submitted by Alex Tanner on Tue, 2024-05-21 14:19

When so, so young I had a bear,
Her name was Granny Overthere;
A stranger name could not be found
You've not heard that one I'll be bound.

It came from younger brother Tim
Who, whenever mother asked of him
What did he want with which to play
Would point at Granny and loudly say:

"I want Granny, Granny over there",
She always sat in Father's chair.
Thus it was that she was named
And forever Tim would take the blame.

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Workshop:

Earn A Poem Workshop 1

Contest:

05/24 My Favorite Childhood Toy

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

paleoray

Tue, 2024-05-21 15:11

A wonderful children poem

As I myself have a strong passion for children's poetry, I have to say that your poem is absolutely wonderful! I love the way you explain how you came about the giving of your Grandmother's name as "Granny Overthere" as a child. Very clever storyline indeed. I have just one critique - In the second line of your last stanza - I think the word "was" should be omitted as I think it is typo. This is simply a marvelous child's poem that should be published. Bravo.

Alex Tanner

Wed, 2024-05-22 13:10

Hello P

Thank you for your kind remarks. The 'was' is not a typo but on re reading it could go as it would tighten things a little more. I try to be economical with words, not always successfully. i will edit it out. Alex

author comment

Obadiah Grey

Thu, 2024-05-23 11:14

This is where it begins, Alex

This is where it begins, Alex, As you know.

Charming!

Obi.

Lavender

Thu, 2024-05-30 08:15

Granny Overthere

Hello, Alex,
This affectionate poem will stay with me. Brings back many fond memories of my own. Really enjoyed this!
Thank you,
L

Neopoet

Granny Overthere.